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To round out 2019, my Movie Man and I watched 25 Robert
Altman movies. Yes we did. Here’s how that happened.
During the Country Music binge someone talked
about the movie Nashville, which we promptly and
dutifully watched as soon as Country Music was over. And then we
watched A Prairie Home Companion. And then California
Split; Cookie's Fortune; Fool for Love; Gosford Park; Images; M.A.S.H.; The
Last Resort; The Long Goodbye; The Player; Thieves Like Us; 3 Women; Brewster
McCloud; Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean; Dr. T and the
Women; Popeye; Ready to Wear; Tanner '88 (Series); Vincent and Theo (in 4
parts); McCabe and Mrs. Miller; The Wedding; Streamers; Secret Honor; and Kansas
City.
You can read about Robert Altman movies till the day is long,
about the characters all talking at once, the endings that explode with
reality, the identity crises, and the layers of stories all stacking up and
sliding around. But all I want to talk about is Shelley Duvall.
Shelley Duvall stars, or appears, in eight or so of the
movies we watched. For me, she stars whenever she appears. With her larger than
life eyes and smaller than life frame, she perplexes my notion of beauty. At
times she appears almost skeletal. The maternal me squirms. But then she opens
her mouth and speaks, or better, sings, and I’m transfixed. So much charisma.
I adore her in Popeye. She mumbles her lines
eloquently. She bumbles her body gracefully. She’s a divine paradox and a
perfect Olive Oyl. As Keechie in Thieves Like Us, her confidently
conflicted line, “I oughta know cuz he’s my second cousin” just turns me inside
out. She’s every young awkward ears-sticking-out girl. Well… not every girl.
But oh my stars, her role as Millie in 3 Women.
When I was 9 or so, I used to dress my Barbie dolls in pale
pinks and yellows. The more flowery the better; bell-shaped chiffon sleeves were
just right. And so comes Shelley Duvall’s character Millie in 3 Women, my
very own Barbie doll stepped right out of my childhood onto the screen. Millie
is sunshine and lemon yellow. Her flowery and flouncy outfits show off her
skinny yet elegant body. When she’s not radiating in yellow, she wears pale pink
hot-pants and a flowered top that ties just above her belly button. She is my
Barbie doll, and not only that, she’s what I thought I’d be, someday.
The “official trailer” for 3 Women claims that this
movie “will make you examine everyone you ever wanted to be.” I’m chilled. How
did they know?
Turns out I do not dress anything like Millie in my
adulthood. I’m fashion free, and my sense of style is dull as dirt. I do cling
to one tiny ray of sunshine from that 9-year-old inner child though: Jean
Nate After Bath Splash. For as long as I can remember, I’ve kept a bottle,
you know the one with the giant black screw-on knob, in my bathroom. I’ve been
known to throw my Jean Nate in my bag when headed out to social events that may
be on the warm side.
After the Robert Altman binge, Joe and I set out to learn
more about Shelley Duvall. I will leave it up to you to do your own reading
about how she was treated on the set of The Shining, and how Dr. Phil
goaded and teased her, preying on her mental illness, in his infamous interview
of her in 2016. Suffice it to say that I feel less than forgiving toward
Stanley Kubrick and Dr. Phil. Shelley Duvall, age 70 as I write this, is scarcely
recognizable as the embodiment of my childhood dream.
Last week I noticed I was down to my last inch of Jean Nate,
so I bought a large bottle at Walgreens. I opened it on my way out the door and
tossed the glossy, non-recyclable box in the trash. I splashed it on my arms right
there in my car, looking forward to the clean yellow tingle and familiar trip
back in time. But no. It smelled like old shoes. Must be my dogs, I thought,
and brought it home anyway. The next day it still smelled like old shoes. The
bottle is sitting on my table right now, smelling like old shoes. To be honest,
it’s not exactly like old shoes, but it does smell like someone mixed old shoes
in with my lemon sunshine clean and lovely Jean Nate.
Turns out Revlon has changed the formula. I’m not sure what
to do with the giant bottle sitting on my table, smelling like old shoes. Maybe
I’ll just pour it down the drain. I’ll savor those last few ounces of my real
Jean Nate; it’s all I have left.
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